Maybe you’ve been able to incorporate some nourishing rituals into your morning routine to start your day with a full cup. How about replenishing your cup throughout the day so that you may even be able to help someone else fill their cup?
Momming During A Pandemic – Tips for keeping your cup full throughout the day
I realize most moms are on one long 24-hour, 7 day a week, never ending shift and that is why it is critical to have a self-care plan in place. Pre-COVID my recommendation was to work towards 5 hours per week of alone time. Yes, I said 5 hours of completely alone time away from your children each week. It took me years to work up to this and, truth be told, it wasn’t until both kids were in school full-time that I was able to give this to myself. And even then I had to schedule it in or I would squander the hours they were in school by working, doing housework, running errands, and volunteering in the classroom or at the school. Taking time for myself typically brought up feelings of guilt and shame. Like, how dare I schedule time just for me to go for a walk, read a book, OR sit in a coffee shop and stare out the window? I learned over time, with help from my therapist, mom friends, and support groups that time alone was essential for my wellbeing and the wellbeing of my entire family. How does the idea of acting from a full cup versus an empty cup sound to you? What if you went one step further? Imagine taking on life from an overflowing cup! The overflowing cup is you with a full reserve of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical energy ready to take on the day.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott
So, now let’s talk about how in this world a mom is supposed to get some time to herself in the midst of a pandemic. Finding time to be truly alone is a challenge when the whole family is in the same space, but it is achievable. Think small, more frequent 3-to-5-minute breaks. Schedule these breaks into your calendar! Set reminders that cue you to taking the much-needed break.
You can also be in the same space as your children, modeling important self-care behaviors and still get a mental, if not physical, break. All of the tips below have an intentional component. These breaks are purposeful – stay mindful in the actions, no matter what you are doing.
First, here are some tips on getting true alone time and how to make it happen.
TIP #1: Create ME Time spaces not just for you, but for everyone!
HOW: Designate a comfortable space for each family member and establish the boundaries for ME time. Set your alarm and go to your ME Time space for 3 to 5 minutes every 2 or 3 hours. Older children can have their own spaces and choose to go to those spaces or give them other agreeable options for when mommy is in her alone space – think screen time. Infants can be safely placed in their cribs.
TIP #2: Step outside.
HOW: Simply taking a few minutes to breathe in fresh air outside can be a powerful reset. Again, this is a quick 3-to-5 minutes, so give the kiddos screen time or put the baby in their crib. They will be OK!
TIP #3: Get a virtual babysitter!
HOW: Ask your mom/sister/aunt/friend to get on a video call with your kiddo and entertain them while you take a break. For younger kids, put them in a safe, contained area like a crib or pack-n-play, and set the computer or device on a table out of reach. Then take your 3 – 5 minute break.
It may not always be possible to take your breaks physically alone. There are still ways to refill your cup in the presence of others. In these next tips, you are taking time to be mindful and modeling these strategies for your littles.
TIP #4: Take everyone outside!
HOW: Sit and take deep breaths while you blow bubbles that the kids can then chase and pop! You are getting the deep breathing to calm your system and the joy of watching your kids play. Take it one step further and wlk barefoot through the grass to ground you even more.
TIP #5: Meditate together.
HOW: There are several apps you can download – but here are some free options: Dare (lots of free meditations for worry, depression, stress); InsightTimer (tons of free guided medications and music); Calm (there are several free programs under the anxiety tab) – the last two options have kid specific meditations as well. Once you have selected an app and a meditation, throw some pillows and blankets on the floor and invite your kiddos to join in as you play the meditation.
TIP #6: Get moving!
HOW: Take physical movement breaks. Again, schedule these throughout the day! Put on your favorite song and dance. Do some jumping jacks, flow through a sun salutation, or go up and down the stairs a few times. Make a competition out of it with your kids!
So once the kids are asleep tonight – take 10 minutes and set some reminders for 3-to-5-minute breaks every 2 hours tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of a full cup, one little break at a time!